A Broken Villanelle
There was nothing more that I could say.
I hung the phone, stayed out of sight–
I couldn’t tell him anyway.
So frightened that I might betray
An aching heart, like mine tonight
There was nothing more that I could say.
Would it have mattered though, today?
A flicker barely pierces night
I couldn’t tell him anyway.
When will this sorrow fade away?
Please God, make blind this damned hindsight
There was nothing more that I could say
And even now, with no someday–
No matter now of wrong or right–
I still can’t say it anyway
Still, lips hold secrets eyes betray
And had I drowned in blue that night
There’d be nothing more that I would say
But he would have known it anyway.
May 14th, 2010 |
lovely poem. teach me this villanelle.
Thank you. I love villanelles, but am afraid I am not one to teach them as I am a novice myself. You can try here:http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/5796 Thanks for stopping by:)
December 17th, 2009 |
Ah yes, indeed. We’ve all had those moments. It’s great to see you again, Sam:)
December 16th, 2009 |
“Still, lips hold secrets eyes betray”
indeed
this was really moving, and loved the flow of it.
December 14th, 2009 |
Squeeze away, LK. I’m honored that you asked!
December 12th, 2009 |
I’d love to squeeze this at The Juice Bar w/a photo…yes? lisakthayer@yahoo.com
let me know. Beautiful work. LK
December 9th, 2009 |
Thanks DL. I really appreciate your compliment on my maiden villanelle voyage;)
December 2nd, 2009 |
Wow.. One of the finest, I’ve come across, lately.. So poignant – this is beautiful art!
November 29th, 2009 |
Thank you, Colleen:)
November 27th, 2009 |
Danielle I love the line “Please God, make blind this damned hindsight”. How often we have felt this way. Very clever phrasing and sentiment.
November 22nd, 2009 |
Thank you, Bliss, you are such a blessing. Yes, all is well. Thank you for checking in:)
November 22nd, 2009 |
Thank you, Sara:)
November 21st, 2009 |
i’ve come a few times
and read your words up and down
sending you much light…
I’m hoping all is well with You and Yours. Namaste.
November 20th, 2009 |
Exquisitely beautiful!
November 20th, 2009 |
Nice to meet you, Blue. Come back anytime, the door’s always open:)
November 20th, 2009 |
Silindile, how nice to meet you. I took a peek at your souldose and can tell I’ll be spending some time with you there. You have a remarkable spirit. Blessings:)
November 20th, 2009 |
Hi Shraddha, and thank you. I wanted to play around with some themes and practice with self-hosting before I build my business website:)
November 20th, 2009 |
Hi Dame, nice to see you here! Thank you. I’m not very knowledgeable about poetry either–what matter is that you liked it and I appreciate that:)
November 20th, 2009 |
1st time on your blog, enjoyed my visit…
November 19th, 2009 |
This Is so honest and raw.. It has so much pain.
November 19th, 2009 |
beautiful , touching poem!!
lovely first…
you did it!!! you are on the org!!!
yay!!!
what tirggered it?
November 18th, 2009 |
You took the plunge and got your own site! Congratulations!
I’m not very knowledgable about poetry, but this was very poignant.
November 18th, 2009 |
Hi Ebb! So glad to see you again. Hope all is well on your end….will be by this week for some more of your inspiration:)
November 18th, 2009 |
I need to figure out a way to circumvent that nonsense:)
November 18th, 2009 |
Hi Purple, So glad you found me. If it touched you I am am thrilled, and if you understood then I am ecstatic.
November 18th, 2009 |
Ah, Joseph, an approval from you is better than a gold star. Thank you my friend, for your approval and the hugs:)
November 18th, 2009 |
Thanks J. It was my first attempt and I broke form at the end. It irritated me at first that I didn’t do it perfectly…then I realized a broken form was the only form for this one. Glad you liked it:)
November 18th, 2009 |
Thank you, Della. For everything.
November 18th, 2009 |
Hi Az, thank you. Will have to write something to stitch you back up now;)
November 18th, 2009 |
Hi Mark,
I am guilty of overextension as well. In fact, one of my projects is going to be to revisit my other poetry and try to condense it a bit more. The more I write the more I realize that for me, less is more. Thank you:)
November 18th, 2009 |
Hey right back at ya, sweet Bliss. Thanks so much:)
November 18th, 2009 |
Thank you, Kalliope:) Happy to have you visit.
November 18th, 2009 |
I love the progression… Oh! and I like the new look as well!
November 17th, 2009 |
ooops, sorry I didn’t fill this out when I commented.
November 17th, 2009 |
Structurally impeccable, message incredible and touching, covers a range of emotions in me as the reader. I also enjoyed the mystery – you do not tell everything explicitly and yet, somehow we know …
November 16th, 2009 |
Excellent, both in form and content… rings with the strength of the emotions. Hugs and approvals!
November 16th, 2009 |
The struggle…this is wrenching, aching…beautiful form for delivery.
November 16th, 2009 |
Beautiful. Calliope, he knew. He always knew.
November 15th, 2009 |
Awesome, awesome work on this. Really tore me inside out.
November 15th, 2009 |
Beautiful flow, I vacillate between form and free verse, sometimes I try to overextend myself and stretch a one line idea into a classical form and I end up killing the idea, but you have taken some great lines and a powerful emotive foundation and moulded them into one of my favourite forms, well done.
November 15th, 2009 |
HEYYYYYY!!! It’s wonderful here in Your new room. Congrats!!!
This poem is incredible. I’ve read it through three times and just feel sad, sad, sad. Hopeless. And I see the comments which elude to a heartbreaking event in Your life. Well…I thank You for sharing Your raw heart and personal journey in such a lovely way. Seriously. Namaste.
November 15th, 2009 |
Beautiful poem…..
November 15th, 2009 |
Yes, it sure can be that, LK. In many ways, in many different shades of love.
November 15th, 2009 |
heartbreaking and brutal, as love can be…
November 14th, 2009 |
Thanks Darc. This one took a while to write. Still not sure I have it right, but it felt good to get it out:)
November 14th, 2009 |
That’s almost chilling in its clarity and crisp longing, Danielle. Brilliant work. As if you did any other sort.
November 14th, 2009 |
You are so kind, thank you, Alisson. It’s nice to “meet” you, and your hugs from Brazil:)
November 14th, 2009 |
There are not words what I can use to express my emotion with your poem. It’s very beautiful and fantastic.
hugs from Brazil!
November 14th, 2009 |
Thanks Falc:)
I’m glad you like it. Bear with me–you might see the same post several times in your reader as I play around with some plugins and stuff:)
November 14th, 2009 |
*hugs* This requires hugs and tissue. I’m so sorry.
But in a crude change of subject, the blog looks awesome.
I love the pulldown shade.